Sunday, May 3, 2009
dating tips...old stuff i wrote
ok, dating criteria!!!alright ill give a few rules so there will be more to go on unlike fumblin in the dark without a flashlight because thats what dating is like and most of you(unlike people who havent dated wich is kinda absurd nicole!) know that! all the dating faux pa has been committed by people that try to wing things and enter without caution and preparation. "oh soph, you’re too uptight. half the fun of dating is not knowing what to expect…" im not trying to take the fun out of dating. but is it ever fun to get hurt? it realy turns out a trial and error kind of thing, that unless you learn from previous mistakes, will end up making this supposedly fun and exiting journey, end up being long, tiresome and overdone.1. find a partner that you like and vice versa(make sure they express the fact they are interested in you enough and dont mistake friendliness for interest to date because that could be disasterous!)2. find an activity you like and vice versa(having somthing you both like to do or an interest in common is good starting ground to work on. you will have something to keep both of you busy; may it be watching movies, walks in the park/wilderness, going out for dinner or to the beach… )3. talk, talk, talk(based on experience i can vouch that communication is the best means to find out if you’re meant to be or not. i can say i base my TRUE and LONG LASTING relationships on an open constant flow of conversation and even debate. if you are both interested in each other, especially intelectualy, you should have a lot to talk about and may never get tired of it. personaly i have to feel like i can trust and confide in my partner, and they as well in return. if it is any other way, it seems pointless to continue such a relationship that, unless that is what you both are looking to find, is a relationship revolving around more of the physical or sexual aspects.)4. matching morals and standards(dont you think its kinda silly if you dont believe in the same things? im not talking religion wise, because its too deep a topic to divulge at this point and im not going down that road, at least for now. what im getting at is actually beliefs and morals. you will get it if you are in the situation where you have a never ending, "no-one is going to win this one" Argument that will end up breaking you guys up. better to be friends than lovers if you cant handle that)5. set your expectations(i know that you want to meet new and different people but the safer you are the better. you wouldnt wanna date someone who makes you uncomfortable or worse could end up killing you. get a list down. ‘i wont date people who’; ‘i would like to date someone who.’ FOR EXAMPLE: DO: Will date someone who loves cats/doesnt like fish/has a job and stable income/doesnt drink or smoke. DONTS: Wont date someone who isnt christian/ is over 26/lives way too far/has been married/does drugs. once you set your standards it isnt a sealed deal or final. you may bend a bit acording to how much is acceptable in your own book. thats the fun of it. you may even have a change of heart and find you wana date someone who doesnt like cats for example)6. find your comfort zone(ok, i will go a little bit into the department of sex wich i know is something you all know i love to speculate about in a rather nymphomanic sense. wether you be a virgin, not into it at the moment, or have a very healthy sexualy active status, at a certain point in the lifespan of you and the person you are dating, you should put all your cards on the table. vocalize your intentions so that you both know if you are on the same page. it is ok to tell your partner that you do not want to think about being sexualy active at the moment. in that way, you know you will both be comfortable. if your partner leaves for those reasons then it only means you know they arent made to match you. there will always be another person who understands your terms and will accept them. on the other hand if your partner expresses their intentions you in return must respect their wishes. its all about compromise.)
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